I love Wendell Berry's lines that " it may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. The that is not baffled is not employed."The impeded stream is the one that sings."
But they are willing to redefine themselves, and life and okayness. Redefinition is a nightmare- we think we've arrived,.... Then something happens that totally sucks, and we are in a new box, and t is like changing into clothes that don't fit, that we hate. Yet the essence remains.Essence is malleable, fluid. Everything we lose is Buddhist truth - one more thing that you don't have to grab with your death grip, and protect from theft or decay. It's gone. We can mourn it, but we don't have to get down in the grave with it.
... I finally realized that I had been raised not to say "You're welcome" .....girls were taught to minimize how much they had given, how much time and hard work something had taken.....If generosity is nothing, then what is anything? Now I make myself accept gratitude, .. say gently "You're really welcome.:
On grief....the passage of time will lessen the acuteness, but time alone, without the direct experience of grief, will not heal it.
Don't get me wrong, grief sucks, it really does. Unfortunately, though, avoiding it robs us of life, of the now, of a sense of living spirit. Mostly I have tried to avoid it by staying very busy, working too hard, achieving as much as possible. You can often avoid the pain by trying to fix other people; shopping helps in a pinch, as does romantic obsession.
But they are willing to redefine themselves, and life and okayness. Redefinition is a nightmare- we think we've arrived,.... Then something happens that totally sucks, and we are in a new box, and t is like changing into clothes that don't fit, that we hate. Yet the essence remains.Essence is malleable, fluid. Everything we lose is Buddhist truth - one more thing that you don't have to grab with your death grip, and protect from theft or decay. It's gone. We can mourn it, but we don't have to get down in the grave with it.
... I finally realized that I had been raised not to say "You're welcome" .....girls were taught to minimize how much they had given, how much time and hard work something had taken.....If generosity is nothing, then what is anything? Now I make myself accept gratitude, .. say gently "You're really welcome.:
On grief....the passage of time will lessen the acuteness, but time alone, without the direct experience of grief, will not heal it.
Don't get me wrong, grief sucks, it really does. Unfortunately, though, avoiding it robs us of life, of the now, of a sense of living spirit. Mostly I have tried to avoid it by staying very busy, working too hard, achieving as much as possible. You can often avoid the pain by trying to fix other people; shopping helps in a pinch, as does romantic obsession.
