Showing posts with label mini-summary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mini-summary. Show all posts

Sunday, November 16, 2014

What Oprah knows for sure...


From her book -

"I take my pleasures seriously. I work hard and play well; I believe in the yin and yang of life. "

"Being aware of, and creating, four-and five-star experiences makes you blessed. For me , just waking up "clothed in my right mind" being able to put my feet the floor, walk to the bathroom and do what needs to be done - there is five stars."

"He who dies with the most toys is still dead."

"Barn's burnt down / Now I can see the moon" - Mizuta Masahide

"Every challenge we take on has the power to knock us to our kness."

"What would I do if I weren't afraid of making a mistake, felling rejected, looking foolish or being alone?"

"Because I know this for sure. Who you're meant to be evolves from where you are right now. So learning to appreciate your lessons, mistakes and setbacks as stepping-stones to the future is a clear sign you are moving in the right direction"

"What do you do when you've done all you can, and it seems like it's never enough? What do you give when you've given your all, and it seems like you can't make it through?" "You just stand."

"What I know for sure is that there is no strength without challenge, resistance and often pain."

"The problems that make you throw up your hands and holler "Mercy" will build your tenacity, courage , discipline and determination." (My comment is sometimes I just get to the mercy part...)

"I've learned to rely on the strength I inherited from all those who came before me - the grandmothers, sisters, aunts, and broters who were tested with unimaginable hardships and still survived. I go forth alone, andstand as ten thousand " Maya Angelou - Our Grandmothers

What were the moments along the way that wounded or scared you? Chances are , you've had a few. But here is what is remarkable: You are still here, still standing.

"There wasn't anything special about her. But she listened, was interested and made me feel special."  A person who had been married 18 years and thought he had a strong moral code.

"I thought I could makepeople approve of me by becoming an achiever. "

"I've seen so many women (myself included) dazed by the idea of romance, believing they're not complete unless they find someone to make their lives whole. When you a think about it, isn't that a crazy notion? You, alone, make a a whole person.And if you feel incomplete, you alone must fill all your empty, shattered spaces with love. "

"And when patience wore thin, I bought earplugs."

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is 'Thank you' it will be enough" Meister eckhart

"Being grateful all the time isn't easy. But it's when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you: perspective. Gratitude can transform any situation. " In all honestly, this is an aspiration more than anything else, in the face of real hard problems the first words that come to mind are not thank you - yet.

"Dr. Phil often says you can't change what you don't acknowledge. Before I could challenge my fear and begin changing what I believed about myself, I had to admit that, yes, I had always been afraid - and that my fear was a form of slavery. "

"If life teaches you nothing else, know this: When you get the chance, go for it."

"Until one day I got it. While I ws waiting on God, God was waiting on me."

"The truth is that as much as you plan and ream and move forward in your life, you must remember you are always acting in conjunction with the flow and energy of the universe."

"The older I get, the less tolerance I have for pettiness and superficial pursuits. "

"When you choose to see the world as a classroom, you understand that all experiences are here to teach you something about yourself. And that your life's journey is about becoming more of who you are. Another miracle: We all get to shared in the journey. "

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Gary Zukav

"Never again will I do do anything for anyone that I do not feel directly from my heart. I will not attend a meeting .... make a phone call....sponsor or participate in any activity in which every fiber of my being does not resound yes. I will act with the intent to be true to myself."

"In buying what we want, we hope to acquire the life we desire... but chasing the life you want by accumulating more stuff is a dead-end street."

"I'd wake up in the morning and decide for myself what to do with the day" as if thinking: imagine, me decide.

"What you do today, creates every tomorrow."

"I've been an overachiever since I was 3. For years I felt the need to show that I belonged here- the need to prove my worth. I worked hard. ...... Whatever your challenge, overeating, indulging in any substance or activity, the losss of a relationship, money, position - let it be an open door to yur holiest revelations about yourself, an invitation to your best life."

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

To sell is human - Needed qualities (Chapter 2)

Summarized from Daniel H. Pink To Sell is Human
A favorite chapter of mine: How to be / Qualities to move others : Attunement / Buoyancy / Clarity – or a keen mind, a deft touch, and a sense of possibility.
I.  Attunement
how to deal with a complex situation involving other people”

-step outside our own experience and imagine the emotions, perceptions and motivations = OTHER'S PERSPECTIVE TAKING

1.Increase your power by reducing it. Power leads individuals to anchor too heavily on their own vantage point, insufficiently adjusting to other's perspective. Take Away: assume you are not the one with power. Persuasion jujitsu= use an apparent weakness as an actual strength.

2. Use your head and your heart
-Focus on what the other side is thinking not only feeling
-get inside their heads
-who is who ? → use techniques like social carthography to identify relationships, key players, decision makers.

3. Mimic Strategically
Monkey see, monkey do” chameleon effect.
-consistent but subtle mimicking
-mimicry's first cousin is touch
-form of flattery = “physical dance of charm itself”


II. Buoyancy - Dealing with an ocean of rejection”

Before (“sales-event”): use interrogative self talk
-Positive self talk is better than negative self talk but not always effective
-use questions to elicit answers, to summon resources and strategies: “How will I tackle behavioral questions?” “How to fix this?” “How to move thoe people? WRITE 5 ansers.
-identify autonomous/ intrinsically motivated reasons to pure a goal. e.g. ' pursuing one's self potential'. Internal drive is stronger than extrinsic pressures. 
 
During (“sales-event”): Positivity ratios
-Have a “friendly tone, smile often, nod in agreement , be cordial and inviting”
-Positivity broadens people's ideas about actions, awareness of thoughts and expand behavioral repertoires. It is contagious.
-Believe and show the product you are selling . Genuine conviction can also produce emotional contagion.
-Positive emotions need to outnumber negative emotions by 3 to 1 for people to fluorish. Consciously track positive emotions like joy, gratitude, serenity, hope , pride, amusement, inspiration,love....
-However the other extreme.. too positive … 11 positive emotions to -1 negative..leads to self delusion and SUFFOCATES self-improvement.
-use the negative emotions to learn, use it as feedback. No feedback is also feedback.
-Combine wisely levity and gravity. 
 

After (“sales-event”): Explanatory style

how one explains its worst aspects: as permanent , pervasive and personal OR see rejections as temporary, specific and external : FLEXIBLE OPTIMISM
-dispute and de-catastrophize negative explanations


Techniques:
1. Enumerate all “no”s you receive but remind yourself , “YOU ARE STILL STANDING AND AROUND”

2. Embrace rejection
accept what has already happened and reframe. Proof that you keep going.
Go negative every one in a while.
-Negativity prevents unproductive behaviors from cementing into habits
-They deliver useful information on our efforts
-Life gives us plenty of reasons to be sad, afriad ...without negativity you lose touch with reality. You are not genuine.

III. Clarity

The capacity to help others see their situations in fresh and more revealing ways and to identify problems they didn't realize they had.


-”The quality of the problem that is found is a forerunner of the quality of the solution that is attained...”
-”problem finding and problem solving” go hand to hand “ → part of being an innovative leader is being able to frame a problem in interesting way and .. to see what the problem really is before you jump in to solve it. 
 -In the past salespeople were adept at accessing information. Today, they must be skilled at curating it.- sorting through the massive troves of data and presenting to others the most relevant and clarifying pieces.
-2nd- the best salespeople were skilled at answering questions, today they must be good at asking questions : uncovering possibilities, surfacing latent issues, and finding unexpected problems. 
 
Tools: “Compared to what? / who? “ Clarity depends on contrast. e.g. imagine a blind person with a sign “It is springtime” and then “it is springtime and I am blind”. We often understand something better when we see it in comparison with something else than we see it in isolation.


5 types of frames:
-”The less frames” : the world is saturated with options and alternatives. Framing people's options in a way that restricts their choices can help them see those choices more clearly instead of overwhelming them.
-The experience frame : people derive much greater satisfaction from purchasing experiences than they do from purchasing goods. We adapt quickly to material changes. Experiences also give us something to talk about and stories to tell, which can help us connect with others and deepen our own identities, both of which boost satisfaction. Even if you are selling a car, point out what the car will allow the buyer to do.
-the label frame: merely assigning the positive label elevates their behavior.
3-the blemished frame:in many cases the people who got the small dose of negative information were more likely to purchase the goods than those who'd received the exclusively positive information – under 2 conditions: “low effort” either busy or distracted. 2Nd – negative information ust follow the positive information, not the reverse. Again, the comparison creates clarity. “Weak negative information after already having received positive information, the weak negative information ironically highlights or increases the salience of the positive information”. Being honest about the existence of a small blemish can enhance you offering's true beauty.
The potential frame (to sell ourselves): Emphasize our potential. “The potential to be good at something can be preferred over actually being good at that very same thing”
Finding an off-ramp.On a food donation request: “What moved them wast only the request itself, bu that the requesters had provided them an off-ramp for getting to their destination. “ Lesson: Clarity on how to think without clarity on how to act can leave people unmoved.


How: Pantalon technique: rational questions are ineffective for motivating resistant people. Instead I've found tat irrational questions actually motivate people better.
Question 1: On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 meaning the least bit ready and 10 meaning 'totally ready' how ready you to study? Question 2: “Why didnt you pick a lower number?” Asking why the number isn't lower is the catalyst. Then have the person enunciate the reasons, begins to articulate why she wants to behave differently. Then help clarify the personal positive and intrinsic motives for studying or whatever action we are influencing.
Jolt:
Sommers says “ it take the jolt of the unfamiliar to remind you just how blind you are to your regular surroundings.”
Try a jolt of the unfamiliar : mini-jolt “change seats on a conference table , travel using a different route, order something different”. Half jolt: spend a day immersed in an envronment not typically your own. Full jolt: travel to another country, with a culture different from your own.
You are likely to return jolted – and clarified.
Become a curator:
In the old days accesing information was the challenge. These days the challenge is curating it. 1) Seek : define area you want to cureate and put together a list of the best sources of information. At least 2 x15 minutes two times per day.2) Sense. Creating meaning out of the material you've assembled. e.g. updating your own blog. 3) Share: As you share, you'll help others see their own situations in a new light and possible reveal hidden problems that you can solve.
Learn how to ask better questions: (right question institute)
1. Produce your questions
2. Improve your questions
3. Classify into open ended / closed. Think about advantages / disadvantages of each variety. Swith a few from open-ended to close-ended.
4. Prioritize your questions. Choose 3 top questions.
Ask the five -whys:
Undercover reasons behind behaviors.


Saturday, August 23, 2014

Summary by excerpts of "Myths of Creativity"

 I basically extract what I find most useful from the book and share it. I try to leave the authors voice intact as he is the writer. I am the reader.

If you have ever wondered if you are creative or somebody else is.  Or "if you only had more time". Or "if you only hope the Greek gods would show up for the Aha! moment!". Or if you don't necessarily volunteer your ideas as they would be stolen.... Or disregard the opinions of those who are not SME. Or you if you think you can achieve the top creative idea by yourself.  Or if you think you have a great idea, yet the world thinks otherwise.


The Eureka Myth
"It came just to me"

What he found was that almost all of the people he studied shared a similar creative process that consisted of five stages: preparation, incubation, insight, evaluation , and elaboration.
Incubation is the stage where people briefly step back from their work. Many creative people intentionally set a project aside and take a physical break from their work .
However, just as in the case of the Post-it note, these flashes of genius are actually part of a larger process of creative work. Each stage in the process is vital to innovation. Without preparation our mind doesn't have much material to work with. Without incubation ,we can become fixated on solutions that don't work and never generate the insight we need.
The lesson of incubation is to work hard on a creative task or difficult problem, but to shift tasks whenever we get stuck, giving ourselves permission to let our minds wander to something else for a little while.

The Breed Myth
"He/She is a natural"

...it can still seem as through creative individuals are a select group. It feels as if the people we view as outstandingly creative are just a certain breed- that  they are cut from different cloth than the rest of us.
The distinction goes beyond individuals in organizations. ... they still demonstrate the belief that certain occupations are filled with people who are creative and presumably others hosue their non-creative counterparts. It is easy to look at the output from design firms and entertainment companies and find creativity. It is a lot harder to recognize the creativity in a place like Walmart, despite its drastic innovations in areas like product pricing and supply chain management.
After Einstein's death his brain was removed and preserved. Psychologists and medical doctors alike subjected the brain to close examination in hopes of finding a biological explanation for his creativity and genius. In the case of Einstein, none of the studies revealed any significant difference between his brain and the brain of most humans - except for the surprising find that his brain was significantly smaller in mass than the average male brain. Instead of hierarchy, Gore is structured as what it calls a lattice. This lattice is a horizontal structure in which everyone is connected to everyone else.
Our current understanding of genetics leaves us eager to explain away creative ability as coded into someone's genes and thus downplay the creative potential of others.
Creative ability isn't limited to a particular personality type, and it isn't controlled by our genetic code.

The Originality Myth

We want to believe that seemingly unique inventions and creations are the product of a sole creator. When we have a creative idea, we want the world to recognize us as the genius we are, so we , in turn recognize others as sole geniuses behind their great ideas.
Gray matter is literally what we think about when we think. White matter, in contrast , is the connective tissue that transfers electrical signals across the brain like the wire of a telescope.
As Isacc Newton said "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants". Indeed , Newton was standing on the shoulders of another giant when he derived that saying from Bernard of Cahrters, who originally said "We are like dwarfs standing on the shoulders of giants, so that we can see more than they"
The theory that new creations are combinations of existing ideas isn't itself a new idea either. .... creative thinking was simply "the forming of associative elements into new combinations which either meet specific requirements or are in some way useful"
...every person is also trapped within his or her own adjacent possible. In their creative endeavors, people can only borrow from ideas and materials to which they have been exposed. The more environments and influences they open themselves up to, the wider their adjacent possible is and the more likely they are to stumble across the creative finish line first. The more they can develop their brain's white matter to make connections across gray matter, the greater their potential for a creative insight.In fact, keeping an idea to yourself may be what keeps it from being developed.

The Expert myth

..the belief that a correlation exists between the depth of a person's knowledge and the quality of the work that person can produce.
..the correlation between a person's level of expertise and his or her creative output isn't what one might expect. As expertise grows, creativity sometimes diminishes.
Erdo's strategy on a larger scale.... is regularly seeking outsiders for new insights without regard to their education or specific expertise.

The Incentive Myth

These organizations have found little correlation between creative work and the size of an incentive.
When we are naturally interested in our work, engrossed in it while we do it and thinking bout it even when we're not, we are intrinsically motivated. ... intrinsic motivation results in far more creative work than extrinsic motivation.
..Edwar Deci, who found that the presence of certain extrinsic rewards could actually remove the intrinsic motivation that was already present in an individual. In certain conditions, incentives can actually block the motivation we need to do creative work.
We all need a level of compensation substantial enough to avoid being distracted by our financial situation and to allow us instead to focus on being creative.
Incentives or rewards that are used as a for of recognition for quality performance seem to increase intrinsic interest in creative work. Moreover, rewards that enable people to work on something they are naturally interested in have an even greater effect.
These traditions are rationalized through the assumption that the higher the incentive, the better the work.
These organizations believe the the opposite approach, wasting money on incentive programs to produce artificial motivation and poorer-quality work, is even riskier.

The Lone Creator Myth

Too often , however, we prefer to recognize only one person for an outstanding creative work. This isn't just a selective revision; it is fabrication. Uzzi and Spiro's findings recognize the strength and fragility of team collaboration. The creativity of a production is enhanced when diverse people work together. In addition, the closeness of a team affects its performance, as total strangers forced to work together can have problems exchanging ideas. But people who are overly familiar with each other aren't that good for creativity either.
Creativity is a team sport.
Those teams operate best when they are a healthy mix of preexisting and new connections -shred experiences and totally new perspectives. Teams with a wide knowledge of creative ideas and an efficient means of sharing them are best suited to produce, new innovative work.

The Constraints Myth

We assume creativity needs total freedom to grow and develop.
At the same time, we constantly affirm the need to "think outside the box", often without having fully explored the inside of it.
There is no support for the idea that constraints hinder creativity. In fact, the research supports the opposite, and many innovative teams will you that creativity loves constraints.
Amabile's point is that some constraints often aid the creative process and increase the quality of work produced. Constraints provide a starting point and a problem to solve. This is a hard truth for some to accept: that a lack of resources may not be their true constraint, just a lack of resourcefulness. That's because of all of us have a self-imposed that the future will evolve neatly from the present. We actually constrain ourselves to think linearly and don't consider what disruptive innovations will occur. The envisioned future is just one example of a fundamental tendency of human cognition: we imagine from within the comfortable constraints of our own experience. If we're given free rein to be creative or to solve a problem, we typically end up focusing on what we know or what has worked in the past.
Stokes' research has revealed four constraints that promote creativity: domain constraints, cognitive constraints, variability constraints , and talent constraints.
Domain : Regardless of the field, everyone requires a certain level of understanding before he or she can contribute novel and original ideas.
Cognitive constraints come from the limitations of the mind both the creator's and that of the audience. Creative ideas have to be novel and useful, and that usefulness is judged against the cognitive constrains of the beholder.
Variability constraints consider how much a given piece of work or creative process needs to vary from the existing standards. Exact copies aren't recognized as  creative, though copies with unique modifications can be. Variability constraints differ greatly across industries and creative genres, just as the tolerance for mimicry differs across fields.
Talent constraints refer to the abilities that Stokes believes are genetic. Tone-deaf individuals will have a significant disadvantage in musical composition.
Stokve problems.
"Cones believes that these four constraints aid creativity by providing a structure that helps solve problems. Creative constraints are advantages in disguise"... Fried and Hansson write. "Limited resources force you to make do with wat you've got. There is no room for waste. And that forces you to be creative"
"Stop whining. Less is a good thing."


The Mousetrap Myth

...assumption that once you have a creative idea or innovative new product, getting others to see its value is the  easy part, and that if you develop a great idea, the world will willingly embrace it.
Creative ideas, by their very nature, invite judgement. People need to know if the value promised by the new is worth the abandonment of the old.
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
It is not enough to merely generate great ideas. .... our organizations need innovative solutions, we also live in a world biased against creative ideas.
It is not enough for an organization to have creative people it has to develop a culture that doesn't reject great ideas. It is not enough for people to learn how to be more creative; they also need to be persistent through the rejection they might face.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Voices Dialogue A short summary on "the" voices

..... a short summary on the voices....

Link On Amazon 

No energy pattern is inherently positive or negative.  Everything is relative to our awareness and our ability to direct energy through an aware ego so that we can make real choices about what we do.

Every disowned self demands a certain amount of energy to keep it unconscious. 

p.31 The parts with which we identify usually determine our choice of relationship. For instance, if we are identified rational self, that self will want us to relate to rational people.

p.32 How is this person, or this situation my teacher?
Energy cannot be destoryed, thus these disowned instincts being to operate unconciously and attract additional energy to themselves. 

p.36. It is possible to learn to honor an energy patters without being requested to live it. ....does not mean releasing in the world and living them out; quite the contrary.. we have a better chance of  of controlling them when they are allowed expression in a balanced way.
 
p.40 Do you feel self-righteous? isn't that other other person so dreadful? ..you cannot bask in the sunshine of moral superiority for too long. You now know you cannot reform the other person. It is to look at those qualities with wichi you are over-identified (you know the ones which make your proud) and recognize how they limit you.

p.70 Awareness bestows the gift of being able to step back from any experience, though or behavior and witness it but it is not an active influence.


the pusher : will help achieve success in the world. it will also give migraines, backaches, heart attacks. As soon as we cross an item of the list, the pusher will add one more to the bottom.
It may seem that the successful type A professional who is well organized and constantly on the go has the strongest pusher, but housewives who sit around all day in their bathrobes leaving the dishes undone and the beds unmade... these pushers have lists so long an unattainable that the women have just given up and fallen into a depressive subpersonality who believes any attempt to gt anything done is futile.
there tends to be physical tension. our physical bodies otten pay the prices for supporting and overly endowed pusher. the pusher is one of the cornerstones of that personality for most people. It incorporates all the parental and societal injunctions, all the things we should and should not do.

the do-nothing : this voice permits us to slow down, take care of ourselves and enjoy life. if this energy is not incorporated into our own lives, we will most definitely draw someone into our orbit who will carry this energy for us.

the critic: the is always ready to point out our inadequacies and failures. It has total candor, no desire to hide its power.  a top notch critic can get us from any angle.

the comparer : whatever the comparison, the comparer always uses a particular watchword: however you are someone else is better.

the perfectionist : we can see the futility of trying to please a perfectionist like this whose demands are totally unrealistic and can never be fully met no matter wat we do.

the power brokers : group of energy patterns that may include  power, ambition, pusher, money, selfishness. the compulsive accumulation of wealth, is an attempt to allay the anxieties and fears of the vulnerable child. Compulsive wealth-building is one aspect of the power broker in action.

the pleaser : there is nothing wrong with the pleasing.  the only question is , as with all energy patterns, who is doing the pleasing? is there a real choice made an aware ego?

the good mother: the woman has no choice but to give and give until she is depleted.