Little did I know this was going to be a tale of mistakes & more mistakes. Just like life sometimes it seems more like a continuous mistake. But as hard as those are, so is the opportunity to grow. When one door closes, another one opens. That is why flexibility is as key as discipline. Having said that I’d like to have these events full of mistakes a bit more space out- please Dear Universe.
My view on these events has changed a bit with time, now I get satisfaction from the enjoyment of every pedal stroke, I mean every step, I mostly ride bicycles …. . It does not represent fully a play for the ego as it used to, it represents more (at least 50%) an opportunity to stand for what I believe. What I believe is gender equality and hence, I choose endurance events where women are a definite minority. That is why I chose the 50k. What i bring to the table are my legs which are built for endurance, I am more like a workhorse, not a racehorse in sports.
Now, the story. It all started when we joined the run organized by Fortius/Fleet Feet to do the first 15k miles of the race. My overall strategy is always to try to go through the magic door (or the gateless gate from a Zen point) of view in my sports, that point of not pushing too much, but not too little either, that place where my legs find a rhythm and we can endure mentally and physically . My zen motivation was crushed when we faced the first “rock climbing” part . i noticed everybody - am not exaggerating - was power walking. I am not sure why they call it power walking, I guess because your HR shows effort but you are technically walking. These were rock boulders, single track technical. 45 minutes into this thing and trying to push can be devastating later in the race . As Chrissie Wellington says I paid for my immaturity and my competitiveness because I tried to run those parts but soon my body disagreed. My boyfriend was however extremely enthusiastic about this part , I wonder what on earth had I gotten myself into . During this run I saw Trey, I didn’t know how he was at that time, but he looked like a tall muscular trail runner like one of those characters from a Avatar without the tail , yes , that tall.. I figured he could communicate with mother earth and stuff like that and the birds would bring water to him.... He had won the 50k last year I would found later that day. Because of this training run , I was able to have a wiser approach on race day. I power-walked that section. Maybe that is the one right thing on that day. After that grueling start, the more “standard” fireroad welcomes. Ups , ups and downs, some rocky terrain but seemed more manageable, some areas still i power walked but not enough for my legs to notice. I let my HR decide mostly. I am the type of person who looks mostly at my HR and time , I didn't know the miles and didn't want to know..The magic door opened and I went through . Around 5.5 miles , Chumash Singletrack started. . Somewhat narrow. Rock boulders. The second part of my strategy was to pick up my speed on this part because for some reason I felt comfortable in technical singletrack and Chumash is like this for the first half at least. Must be the mountain biker in me. High concentration. Short strides. Quick feet like a cartoon. Amazingly Enough I found my good friend Erica Gratton taking pictures in the middle of Chumash. She was kneeling down on one of those boulders snapping pictures of all of us. I prayed for her not to lose her balance (and so that I would not lose mine either). . My body was collaborating, my mind was in the right place. So far so good. Arrived to Las Llajas in full engagement, mental and physical.
After that rest top where I picked up my other flask with homemade gel, we started climbing standard singletrack but amazingly steep and long. I ran out of water. I would run out of water a total of three times. Beginner’s mistake. My boyfriend was already out of sight. Experience in these sports is something not to be underestimated, that is why we are recommended to have A B C races, so that we learn from those. Do as i say, not as I do. Being a newbie I just based my hydration needs on the few longer runs I had done and my cycling . It didn't work that well. I was lucky enough that people around me had water and were able to share it. Endurance rewards experience. As Richard Cunningham , the moutain bike Extraordinaire would joke after, female runners run with tiny shorts and even tinier water bottles - and he pointed to his espresso coffee cup. I was carrying only a 21 onz with me. Maybe he is into something. I was also wearing my calf-sleeves-compression-stuff-that will make me faster. Well, my feet ended up swollen and had for some reason retained water, my feet look like a pregnant woman without the pregnancy. Nothing wrong with the calf-sleeves , i had not allowed my body to adjust. Finally, after coming out from Las LLajas for the second time , going through fireroad going up back to main fireroad my body settled into this slower-than-expected-pace. I could tell by my HR and my exhaustion perception. At this time, my mantra carried me through. “Kissing the earth bouncing forward , driving with the knees” . If I kiss something i dont drop my weight onto it as pounding my weight, I was aware my body was slowing down and pushing being dehydrated was not wise. Under the heat, and with honey-based-homemade gel my digestion could not put up with more sweet, another beginners mistake. Did I say I had never ran a half or even a marathon? I should have brought something to mix it up. Overall though, my mind was calm, engaged in keep us moving but not pushing, my heart was broken as I knew this would affect my time severely. I took it easy until the next emergency stop where I drank like 2-3 water bottles and my body came back. Running -not walking anymore - all the way to the rest stop at the top of Chumash felt good. More fireroad, my legs asked : When does the race start? . I laughed. We might as well, it is mile 25 at least. I always have these conversations with my legs, like everybody else. The volunteers laughed at my jokes, refueled my soul and my water bottle and we continued back on the same fireroad til the “rock climbing part” only in opposite direction. I was inspired by a 80+ woman running and went down as fast as I could. Fell down trying to pass somebody, knee scraped up . Another mistake. Dusted myself off and continued. My amygdala was emitting all sort of alarms , from a very primal point of view, my body was under attack, my inner systems don’t care of it is a lion or the 50k bandit trail race threatening. Or both at the same time. Luckily I could see the finish line. A couple of women passed me. Humility grew (more) on me. Finished, 7h 15 min.
Many lessons to be learnt, but so is this journey called life too. And we all have different approaches to it, some like to take it all prepared, uber-controlled. Some will take the challenge openly freely and then risking more I believe. Now, I can say I have been on both sides and maybe the middle way is the way. Not too tight, not too loose.
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