Summarized from Daniel
H. Pink To Sell is Human
A favorite chapter of mine: How to be / Qualities to move others : Attunement / Buoyancy /
Clarity – or a keen mind, a deft touch, and a sense of
possibility.
I. Attunement
“how to deal with a complex situation involving other people”
-step outside our own experience and imagine the emotions, perceptions and motivations = OTHER'S PERSPECTIVE TAKING
1.Increase your power by reducing it. Power leads individuals to anchor too heavily on their own vantage point, insufficiently adjusting to other's perspective. Take Away: assume you are not the one with power. Persuasion jujitsu= use an apparent weakness as an actual strength.
II. Buoyancy - “Dealing with an ocean of rejection”
Before (“sales-event”): use interrogative self talk
-Positive self talk is better than negative self talk but not always effective
-use questions to elicit answers, to summon resources and strategies: “How will I tackle behavioral questions?” “How to fix this?” “How to move thoe people? WRITE 5 ansers.
-identify autonomous/ intrinsically motivated reasons to pure a goal. e.g. ' pursuing one's self potential'. Internal drive is stronger than extrinsic pressures.
During (“sales-event”): Positivity ratios
-Have a “friendly tone, smile often, nod in agreement , be cordial and inviting”
-Positivity broadens people's ideas about actions, awareness of thoughts and expand behavioral repertoires. It is contagious.
-Believe and show the product you are selling . Genuine conviction can also produce emotional contagion.
-Positive emotions need to outnumber negative emotions by 3 to 1 for people to fluorish. Consciously track positive emotions like joy, gratitude, serenity, hope , pride, amusement, inspiration,love....
-However the other extreme.. too positive … 11 positive emotions to -1 negative..leads to self delusion and SUFFOCATES self-improvement.
-use the negative emotions to learn, use it as feedback. No feedback is also feedback.
-Combine wisely levity and gravity.
After (“sales-event”): Explanatory style
how one explains its worst aspects: as permanent , pervasive and personal OR see rejections as temporary, specific and external : FLEXIBLE OPTIMISM
-dispute and de-catastrophize negative explanations
Techniques:
1. Enumerate all “no”s you receive but remind yourself , “YOU ARE STILL STANDING AND AROUND”
2. Embrace rejection
accept what has already happened and reframe. Proof that you keep going.
Go negative every one in a while.
-Negativity prevents unproductive behaviors from cementing into habits
-They deliver useful information on our efforts
-Life gives us plenty of reasons to be sad, afriad ...without negativity you lose touch with reality. You are not genuine.
III. Clarity
The capacity to help others see their situations in fresh and more revealing ways and to identify problems they didn't realize they had.
-”The quality of the problem that is found is a forerunner of the quality of the solution that is attained...”
-”problem finding and problem solving” go hand to hand “ → part of being an innovative leader is being able to frame a problem in interesting way and .. to see what the problem really is before you jump in to solve it.
-In the past salespeople were adept at accessing information. Today, they must be skilled at curating it.- sorting through the massive troves of data and presenting to others the most relevant and clarifying pieces.
-2nd- the best salespeople were skilled at answering questions, today they must be good at asking questions : uncovering possibilities, surfacing latent issues, and finding unexpected problems.
Tools: “Compared to what? / who? “ Clarity depends on contrast. e.g. imagine a blind person with a sign “It is springtime” and then “it is springtime and I am blind”. We often understand something better when we see it in comparison with something else than we see it in isolation.
5 types of frames:
-”The less frames” : the world is saturated with options and alternatives. Framing people's options in a way that restricts their choices can help them see those choices more clearly instead of overwhelming them.
-The experience frame : people derive much greater satisfaction from purchasing experiences than they do from purchasing goods. We adapt quickly to material changes. Experiences also give us something to talk about and stories to tell, which can help us connect with others and deepen our own identities, both of which boost satisfaction. Even if you are selling a car, point out what the car will allow the buyer to do.
-the label frame: merely assigning the positive label elevates their behavior.
3-the blemished frame:in many cases the people who got the small dose of negative information were more likely to purchase the goods than those who'd received the exclusively positive information – under 2 conditions: “low effort” either busy or distracted. 2Nd – negative information ust follow the positive information, not the reverse. Again, the comparison creates clarity. “Weak negative information after already having received positive information, the weak negative information ironically highlights or increases the salience of the positive information”. Being honest about the existence of a small blemish can enhance you offering's true beauty.
The potential frame (to sell ourselves): Emphasize our potential. “The potential to be good at something can be preferred over actually being good at that very same thing”
Finding an off-ramp.On a food donation request: “What moved them wast only the request itself, bu that the requesters had provided them an off-ramp for getting to their destination. “ Lesson: Clarity on how to think without clarity on how to act can leave people unmoved.
How: Pantalon technique: rational questions are ineffective for motivating resistant people. Instead I've found tat irrational questions actually motivate people better.
Question 1: On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 meaning the least bit ready and 10 meaning 'totally ready' how ready you to study? Question 2: “Why didnt you pick a lower number?” Asking why the number isn't lower is the catalyst. Then have the person enunciate the reasons, begins to articulate why she wants to behave differently. Then help clarify the personal positive and intrinsic motives for studying or whatever action we are influencing.
Jolt:
Sommers says “ it take the jolt of the unfamiliar to remind you just how blind you are to your regular surroundings.”
Try a jolt of the unfamiliar : mini-jolt “change seats on a conference table , travel using a different route, order something different”. Half jolt: spend a day immersed in an envronment not typically your own. Full jolt: travel to another country, with a culture different from your own.
You are likely to return jolted – and clarified.
Become a curator:
In the old days accesing information was the challenge. These days the challenge is curating it. 1) Seek : define area you want to cureate and put together a list of the best sources of information. At least 2 x15 minutes two times per day.2) Sense. Creating meaning out of the material you've assembled. e.g. updating your own blog. 3) Share: As you share, you'll help others see their own situations in a new light and possible reveal hidden problems that you can solve.
Learn how to ask better questions: (right question institute)
1. Produce your questions
2. Improve your questions
3. Classify into open ended / closed. Think about advantages / disadvantages of each variety. Swith a few from open-ended to close-ended.
4. Prioritize your questions. Choose 3 top questions.
Ask the five -whys:
Undercover reasons behind behaviors.
“how to deal with a complex situation involving other people”
-step outside our own experience and imagine the emotions, perceptions and motivations = OTHER'S PERSPECTIVE TAKING
1.Increase your power by reducing it. Power leads individuals to anchor too heavily on their own vantage point, insufficiently adjusting to other's perspective. Take Away: assume you are not the one with power. Persuasion jujitsu= use an apparent weakness as an actual strength.
2.
Use your head and your heart
-Focus
on what the other side is thinking not only feeling
-get
inside their heads
-who
is who ? → use techniques like social carthography to identify
relationships, key players, decision makers.
3.
Mimic Strategically
“Monkey
see, monkey do” chameleon effect.
-consistent
but subtle mimicking
-mimicry's
first cousin is touch
-form
of flattery = “physical dance of
charm itself”
II. Buoyancy - “Dealing with an ocean of rejection”
Before (“sales-event”): use interrogative self talk
-Positive self talk is better than negative self talk but not always effective
-use questions to elicit answers, to summon resources and strategies: “How will I tackle behavioral questions?” “How to fix this?” “How to move thoe people? WRITE 5 ansers.
-identify autonomous/ intrinsically motivated reasons to pure a goal. e.g. ' pursuing one's self potential'. Internal drive is stronger than extrinsic pressures.
During (“sales-event”): Positivity ratios
-Have a “friendly tone, smile often, nod in agreement , be cordial and inviting”
-Positivity broadens people's ideas about actions, awareness of thoughts and expand behavioral repertoires. It is contagious.
-Believe and show the product you are selling . Genuine conviction can also produce emotional contagion.
-Positive emotions need to outnumber negative emotions by 3 to 1 for people to fluorish. Consciously track positive emotions like joy, gratitude, serenity, hope , pride, amusement, inspiration,love....
-However the other extreme.. too positive … 11 positive emotions to -1 negative..leads to self delusion and SUFFOCATES self-improvement.
-use the negative emotions to learn, use it as feedback. No feedback is also feedback.
-Combine wisely levity and gravity.
After (“sales-event”): Explanatory style
how one explains its worst aspects: as permanent , pervasive and personal OR see rejections as temporary, specific and external : FLEXIBLE OPTIMISM
-dispute and de-catastrophize negative explanations
Techniques:
1. Enumerate all “no”s you receive but remind yourself , “YOU ARE STILL STANDING AND AROUND”
2. Embrace rejection
accept what has already happened and reframe. Proof that you keep going.
Go negative every one in a while.
-Negativity prevents unproductive behaviors from cementing into habits
-They deliver useful information on our efforts
-Life gives us plenty of reasons to be sad, afriad ...without negativity you lose touch with reality. You are not genuine.
III. Clarity
The capacity to help others see their situations in fresh and more revealing ways and to identify problems they didn't realize they had.
-”The quality of the problem that is found is a forerunner of the quality of the solution that is attained...”
-”problem finding and problem solving” go hand to hand “ → part of being an innovative leader is being able to frame a problem in interesting way and .. to see what the problem really is before you jump in to solve it.
-In the past salespeople were adept at accessing information. Today, they must be skilled at curating it.- sorting through the massive troves of data and presenting to others the most relevant and clarifying pieces.
-2nd- the best salespeople were skilled at answering questions, today they must be good at asking questions : uncovering possibilities, surfacing latent issues, and finding unexpected problems.
Tools: “Compared to what? / who? “ Clarity depends on contrast. e.g. imagine a blind person with a sign “It is springtime” and then “it is springtime and I am blind”. We often understand something better when we see it in comparison with something else than we see it in isolation.
5 types of frames:
-”The less frames” : the world is saturated with options and alternatives. Framing people's options in a way that restricts their choices can help them see those choices more clearly instead of overwhelming them.
-The experience frame : people derive much greater satisfaction from purchasing experiences than they do from purchasing goods. We adapt quickly to material changes. Experiences also give us something to talk about and stories to tell, which can help us connect with others and deepen our own identities, both of which boost satisfaction. Even if you are selling a car, point out what the car will allow the buyer to do.
-the label frame: merely assigning the positive label elevates their behavior.
3-the blemished frame:in many cases the people who got the small dose of negative information were more likely to purchase the goods than those who'd received the exclusively positive information – under 2 conditions: “low effort” either busy or distracted. 2Nd – negative information ust follow the positive information, not the reverse. Again, the comparison creates clarity. “Weak negative information after already having received positive information, the weak negative information ironically highlights or increases the salience of the positive information”. Being honest about the existence of a small blemish can enhance you offering's true beauty.
The potential frame (to sell ourselves): Emphasize our potential. “The potential to be good at something can be preferred over actually being good at that very same thing”
Finding an off-ramp.On a food donation request: “What moved them wast only the request itself, bu that the requesters had provided them an off-ramp for getting to their destination. “ Lesson: Clarity on how to think without clarity on how to act can leave people unmoved.
How: Pantalon technique: rational questions are ineffective for motivating resistant people. Instead I've found tat irrational questions actually motivate people better.
Question 1: On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 meaning the least bit ready and 10 meaning 'totally ready' how ready you to study? Question 2: “Why didnt you pick a lower number?” Asking why the number isn't lower is the catalyst. Then have the person enunciate the reasons, begins to articulate why she wants to behave differently. Then help clarify the personal positive and intrinsic motives for studying or whatever action we are influencing.
Jolt:
Sommers says “ it take the jolt of the unfamiliar to remind you just how blind you are to your regular surroundings.”
Try a jolt of the unfamiliar : mini-jolt “change seats on a conference table , travel using a different route, order something different”. Half jolt: spend a day immersed in an envronment not typically your own. Full jolt: travel to another country, with a culture different from your own.
You are likely to return jolted – and clarified.
Become a curator:
In the old days accesing information was the challenge. These days the challenge is curating it. 1) Seek : define area you want to cureate and put together a list of the best sources of information. At least 2 x15 minutes two times per day.2) Sense. Creating meaning out of the material you've assembled. e.g. updating your own blog. 3) Share: As you share, you'll help others see their own situations in a new light and possible reveal hidden problems that you can solve.
Learn how to ask better questions: (right question institute)
1. Produce your questions
2. Improve your questions
3. Classify into open ended / closed. Think about advantages / disadvantages of each variety. Swith a few from open-ended to close-ended.
4. Prioritize your questions. Choose 3 top questions.
Ask the five -whys:
Undercover reasons behind behaviors.
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